January 2012
2 posts
December 2011
3 posts
what are words with no meaning
and you you’re special you are special i think you’re special
나쁜 남자? 아니야 좋아 and now i think i’ve fallen
너 좋아해 do you know? 너 좋아해 do you know? it’s too much.
under unfamiliar sheets you shouldn’t have kept me so close
you’re the first to treat me so kindly is it sad? we don’t speak anymore it makes me sad. do you know?
how empty were your words
너...
sometimes i’m crazy i think when i feel those thought bubbles rolling down my tongue thats when i know these thoughts they’re crazy. but you and i? you and me together how? ill never be able to truly understand you so sometimes it makes me cry.
when you liked me i knew so if you’d like me i’d know right?
i want to say its okay but if you don’t give me attention i...
sabotage
sometimes i think i want to feel remorse bridges always in flames
last week you used to write.
보고싶어 귀여워
before i unleashed the crazy
testing/ i want 2 c u care
and it was sabotage.
November 2011
6 posts
i feel unsafe
but i dont even know you so how can you wet my eyes
intelligence to know powerless to change deep rooted habits because before, i’ve been hurt can i use that as an excuse? but really? it’s my excuse. so is the tug of war between the R and the V words the fear. one says cut out while the other leaves me clinging to your waist like a child, wide eyed and blue
blue i feel so blue all...
words// let's become close,
words full of heart but for me carry no meaning i want to tell you everything and know you everywhere i want for us to grow so you say lets be close and comfortable always stay intimate. for now we’ll feel our warmth lips, skin and laughter and soon our words will unite and light fire.
cause of a lost appetite
lovestruck lovestruck lovestruck lovesick slow time anxious lovestruck look at me your eyes those eyes i’m lovesick do you see? can’t eat waiting for your release when i don’t even know you so lovesick and how i hope to unfold you from my mind my dreams my dreams you’re lost in my dreams in the middle of the night you are mine and by day it’s only that i’m...
it sounds like we would have had a great deal to...
its almost over but i havent heard and im not sure what i ever was to you. did you miss me you were always busy„ i think or maybe these are your outs after i let you in see i thought our physics trumped verbal communication but now i don’t hear you at all anymore.
October 2011
1 post
새빨간 니 입술 your lips bright red.
September 2011
2 posts
We were well past the growing up
Remember the s on our backyard deck when the woods would expand so the world leaned slightly to the left and between us we feared the vortex i swore it sucked you in you know that little elf around the corner watching me melt into my chair his singing made my ears bleed until at once he’d become the air one two three we breathe when my arm sensed your touch i howled murder beneath the death...
August 2011
4 posts
countries away, cleansed
i’ve got these hours, i say. four cigarettes removed, scraping floors off drug free zones, binding my fingers with scarcely freckled raindrops to skin stretched across your backbone. thin coats. our thin coats.
they assure, meals aren’t missed here.
spiritual, i guess but we used to treat our bodies like garbage all those candy flippers i was glued to their dreamy smiles....
July 2011
6 posts
my placement: GWANGJU
on August 18th i’m moving to Gwangju, where I will live for the year. It’s the 6th largest city in Korea, and is known as the “city of lights, arts, and culture.” Also hosts the annual Kimchi festival in October. I love kimchi. To quote, Gwangju is “the largest single pedestrian drinking, dining and clubbing district in the country.” Plus, theres an Art...
Reinforcements
in retrospect, we strode with an air of elation and bled our harmonies hasty so i was never really sure about you anyway. i’d say be bold be assured but you’d chip away at my frozen elbows and paint my body blue. in tandem, we affixed our spirits to seven foot trees, aged bark abraded by those middle school girls who fashioned their lives and hatred who carved their lies and hated...
Shift in perspectives
i would like to believe an autumn spirit is in there somewhere, your oaky glow diminished by our summer suns and snug rain showers in korea clouds bring out our sheepish smiles and the children laugh in unison from radiance i melt and respire ignited by life and wide-eyed fire, to cease breathing time to exist and inspire
http://geminkorea.tumblr.com →
^^ Also posting here
June 2011
5 posts
just like we
her smile grows older brave eyes wrinkled deep with adoration we are all just growing old she never speaks about leaving but sometimes i imagine death to be a pitch black room a silence we sit alone impermanently
i know its selfish but sometimes i hope to go first to find a release from this deceptive flow our unknown unknowing our fiction we lie in the meantime i’ll believe in your smile...
Too much foam at the pillowcase
strong hearts collide and all those times i never felt enough. never could cling to your adoration i guilted myself for our undoing and well the truth is i never really forgave any of you no compensation or validation but my brother says i look in all the wrong places, everywhere but the insides
“I’m a hypercube.”
– pmc, PR, 1:54 AM
Watchthe portrait of a lady, december 2010
May 2011
11 posts
trying for weightless: A MEMOIR
2be posted by chapters »>
chapter 1 : RITUALS
We’ve all got our rituals. I always thought the early birds were the crazy ones, worm or no worm, they’re never late to greet the sun with boldly brewed coffee and the morning paper. Other people ritualize their evening jog at dusk, chasing every sunset, running towards the emptiness and mistaking it for the gray pull of the moon. As a night owl, I’d always understood the fascination with that...
chapter 2 : SAFE HOME
Before we moved to a newly built house with a spacious backyard in the bucolic, insular town of Pound Ridge, we resided in a tiny apartment on the third floor of a long beige building. The first seven years of my life I grew up in Yonkers, New York, a city with a high crime rate and noisy aggressive residents. When I was 3, the idea of lying alone in a pitch black room frightened me; isolated in...
chapter 3 : SKIN & BONES
My sophomore year in high school I was on the winter track team for exactly two weeks. During one practice, before I knew it would be my last, I collapsed on the side of the track during a half-mile sprint. The whole team ran over to my limp body and asked if I was all right, but I just kept staring up at the pale sky, wondering why the winter clouds were so substantial and puffy. I finally...
chapter 4 : DEAR DAD
My dad was always adventurous, good-humored, and loved to play tricks on my brother and me. Like when we’d take a hike in the woods and he’d find something gross like a huge spider or dead squirrel, he’d call us over to examine it with him. As we hovered over it, he would grab one of us from behind and shout “BOOOO!” It’d make me squirm and scream louder than ever, but we all got a kick out of...
chapter 5 : MOTHER MAY I HEAL
After things got bad, our house was overtaken by an ideological battle about whether or not I was too skinny. When I denied I was losing weight my father never tried to convince me to say otherwise. That was my mother’s job. She always stated her opinions as a matter of fact: “You are too thin.” “You do not eat enough.” “You are self-destructive.” I always rolled my eyes and found such things...
“As for believing things, I can believe anything provided it is quite incredible.”
– Oscar Wilde
mother love — [our mother’s day gift...
April 2011
6 posts
When moments leave their mark
Like that night i made out with kristen stewart’s boyfriend i only dug him as an actor but the whisky ran dry and his lips were damp with greed earlier that evening i had watched his movie in which he played a manic heartbreak in love with uma thermun his hands felt stellar on my hip bones, raising goosebumps across my skin all the party eyes a distant force and while we...
in the margins of my loose leaf
but we’re not really like that are we? she’s sick of me talking about you but it’s like breathing o2 how all these cigs will make my lungs collapse unitil our ink bleeds from my nose i thought we could make the skies melt pink and purple and gold but you make me feel blue these nights so maybe this is your statement your empty experience i hear you’re the scum of the earth...
in spirit of brutal honesty /// You should...
you look like my dead friend you look like my dead friend you look like my dead friend i never got to kiss him and it’s the only reason i like to kiss you.
No sleep in april
what ever happened to the girl who believed you when you claimed the seeds in kiwis were tiny black bugs?
i think she is craving emptiness, again.
my memory is the worst when trying to recall my junior year and i think it’s because that was the year i smoked all that green.
when she was 15 she felt hollow and thus aspired to be hollow i can’t remember why she felt so alone.
the...
and now we can never grow up
you both loved us too hard so when you walk away it’s like waving to childhood from my small apartment in this little city thats grown too large for my heart i find alive and invincible quite overrated i just want to feel safe again remind me what’s it like to be whole?
March 2011
9 posts
Fools
drunk and he never seems to go home with me.
Never again using "sick" as an excuse
Last Wednesday, I woke up to my alarm at 8:45 AM and felt as if I had not slept at all (partly because I didn’t). My alarm of course had gone off with good reason: I have class at 9 AM. Extremely exhausted and underslept, there was just no way I was getting out of bed. So, I decided to email my professor and tell him I was feeling “under the weather” even though I was NOT at...
zip codes and love lines
he came back to the east coast. it’s temporary, but i’m never sure if we are. if he still can make me feel like a child i am not sure i will find “no” in my vocabulary.
time is suspect. back when i was twelve and love was unrequited, at the turn of nineteen i found his sheets coarse his girlfriend jealous and i an unconscious temptress.
i would have sworn i loved him,...