You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness
and you you’re special
you are special
i think you’re
special
나쁜 남자?
아니야 좋아 and now
i think i’ve fallen
너 좋아해
do you know?
너 좋아해
do you know?
it’s too much.
under unfamiliar sheets
you shouldn’t have
kept me so close
you’re the first to treat me so
kindly
is it sad?
we don’t speak anymore
it makes
me sad.
do you know?
how empty were
your words
너 아주 좋아해
do you know?
너 좋아했으니까
it’s hurting
our
love could make sense.
right?
i wish i could
treasure
me more,
so maybe then
you could love me too
i will always envy
the receiving end
of your affections
how empty were
your words
language barriers
these bridges won’t fall
down.
sometimes i’m crazy
i think
when i feel those thought bubbles
rolling down my tongue
thats when i know
these thoughts
they’re crazy.
but you and i?
you and me
together
how?
ill never be able to
truly understand you
so sometimes it
makes me cry.
when you liked me
i knew so if
you’d like me i’d
know
right?
i want to say
its okay
but
if you don’t give me
attention
i will find it from
someone else.
sometimes
i think
i want to feel
remorse
bridges
always
in flames
last week you
used to
write.
보고싶어
귀여워
before i
unleashed the crazy
testing/ i want
2 c u
care
and it was sabotage.
but i dont even know you
so how can you wet
my eyes
intelligence to know
powerless to change
deep rooted habits
because before, i’ve been
hurt
can i use that as an excuse?
but really?
it’s my excuse.
so is the tug of
war between the R
and the V words
the fear.
one says cut out
while the other leaves me
clinging to your waist like a child,
wide eyed and blue
blue
i feel so blue
all these
broken flowers
the beautiful things
you’ve said,
lost with history
anyway
eventually
we never remember
anything that makes
our heart melt, why would we?
in the future
it only burns.
blue blooded river
flowing
between your intimate words
i vacate them of
meaning
i wait for you
always
to realize i’m not worth
any of it
are you there yet?
well you’re not here anyway
so where are my lungs?
how does the smoke leave
them so raw that
exhalation is
sometimes
a safety pin
scratching beneath my
sternum?
but maybe it’s
all in my head.
or maybe it’s
the carbon
it’s you .
it’s me
not right
for you/
by now my hearts polluted.
i;m given away too easy.
fearful of rejection
addiction to relief
why do i let
statues
define me
i need you
otherwise i don’t exist
can you see me?
sometimes i can’t.
so weak because
i don’t love myself
so weak for not
loving myself
no/ there’s
no intrinsic love here.
i need you
arching over me
condescendingly
i need you
i am not your equal.
words full of heart
but for me carry
no meaning i want
to tell you everything
and know you
everywhere i want
for us to grow so
you say lets be close
and comfortable
always stay intimate.
for now we’ll feel our
warmth
lips, skin and
laughter
and soon our words
will unite and
light fire.
웃으며 기억할께…
고개를 돌리고…
i am small
lovestruck
lovestruck
lovestruck
lovesick
slow time
anxious
lovestruck
look at me
your eyes
those eyes
i’m lovesick
do you see?
can’t eat
waiting for
your release
when i don’t even
know you
so lovesick and
how i hope
to unfold you
from my mind
my dreams
my dreams
you’re lost
in my dreams
in the middle of
the night you
are mine and
by day it’s
only that i’m
lovestruck.
do you know?
lovesick and
struck and
it’s always me
not good
enough
lovestruck and
sick and
it makes me
want to die
so lovesick
its almost over
but i havent heard
and im not sure what
i ever was to you.
did you miss me
you were always
busy„
i think
or maybe these are
your outs
after i let you in
see i thought
our physics trumped
verbal
communication
but now i don’t
hear you
at all anymore.
새빨간 니 입술
your lips bright red.
Remember the s on our backyard deck
when the woods would expand so
the world leaned slightly to the left
and between us we feared the vortex
i swore it sucked you in
you know that little elf around the corner
watching me melt into my chair
his singing made my ears bleed
until at once he’d become the air
one two three we breathe
when my arm sensed your touch
i howled murder
beneath the death of me
beyond the grasp of me
for ninety seconds my bones
they’d creak in rhythm
my bones were my skin and
my face became yours.
well, i could never understand
the appeal.
Remember when you’d
lose your temper
and i’d hang mine
from shoelaces so
you could bat at it
with your brevity?
and together
the four of us
we’d dangle from
a clothesline
until the crescendos
woke silent sleepers
or the whimpers
made hearts bend backward
well, i hoped to never comprehend
my disillusions.
Breakfast of champions
i’ve got these hours,
i say.
four cigarettes
removed,
scraping floors off
drug free zones,
binding my fingers with
scarcely freckled raindrops
to skin stretched across your
backbone.
thin coats.
our thin coats.
they assure,
meals aren’t missed
here.
spiritual, i guess
but
we used to treat our bodies like
garbage
all those candy
flippers
i was glued to their dreamy smiles.
unlike you i drew lines but
nowhere prior to predisposed
pink-flamed euphoria.
to me the world grew light
and beautiful.
but i’d never walk planks like you,
never peter panned my
imprecise existence.
you were not ever
garbage to me
but with
a head to heals grin
you’d treat your body like
translucent
trash.
i didn’t have to say
i resign.
instead i just moved and
the purity followed.
you blame geography
and i applaud my
self.
narcissus,
below,
in blindfolds.
we’re quiet now
lips caught red in the dark
you’ll never quite know
the way
relationships
heal us.
till then we go green
polluting our insides.
